Alright, it's time for a new discussion. Side Note-> Seems I pissed some people off, unintentionally I swear, there was pretty much zero chance of them ever actually reading what I wrote except that ... well, we've a soviet spy somewhere in our system! Ok, well, enough of that, because I could explain, but I'd come off as an ass no matter how I tried, even though I'm not ....
I have realized how increidibly small the internet has made the world. Most of this comes from how I can't grasp the fact that anyone that doesn't (1) go to my school (2) know me somehow (friend, relative, colleague) would possibly WANT to read this website ... or if they knew another SporkOP ... I mean come on, this is some BORING shit.
Alright, so, what's the solution to all this? Let's all get stranded on some islands and live like primates or the people on survivor! Cut ourselves off from as much communication as possible ... which leads me to my next discussion...
SporkOPS!
Hypothetical: We are all being stranded on an island together! Just us SporkOPs. It'll be like survivor only no races and no team building and backstabbing. So! You can bring four items:
1) One item for survival (ex: bug spray, or detergent for washing down CJ)
2) One item for sentimental value (ex: picture of girl, poster of Justin Timberlake)
3) One CD (there will be a solar powered CD player provided free by TheSpork.com's non-profit)
(also note, there is a difference between CD for stranded island and best CD of all times)
(see first discussion)
4) One other item (note, there will be no solar panels allowed other than the one provided by TheSpork.com)
So what would YOU bring?
Let's try to get all ops to participate (come on watermellen, here's your chance) and regular users, even though it's just an adventure for SporkOPs, you can post your ideas too.
OPs, try to explain WHY you'd pick something. Example, in the case of the detergent to wash down CJ, because he is a smelly oaf.
Spork.
ok, not an Op, but Spork said regular users could post anyway.
Ok, as for the first survival item, it would have to be a good size ax. I’m talking about the ones that take a big guy to swing with a blade sharp enough to slice hair. This comes with many advantages: 1) Defense. Spork didn't specify what would be on the island, so I would need to defend myself from animals and people who want to ravage my body. 2) Building, it's always easier to build when you have something to cut down stuff with. You can't, after all, cut down a tree with a Herring. 3) Hunting, easier to kill a rabbit or whatever animal you can with a weapon than by hand.
Second Item. Sentimental Value item. Probably a Bible. Spiritual food is just as important as real food. And no, no one could use it for firewood.
Third Item. CD to be played on solar CD player. Probably my Coheed and Cambria CD, it's fun to listen to and kind of gets me pumped. Plus, Delirium Trigger is the plot to all the Aliens movies.
Fourth Item. Any other item. A Zippo lighter. Got to have fire somehow. And anything is better than trying to rub to sticks together. You saw how hard it was for Tom Hanks.
I'd like to see someone else do better than me.
-- Bigg Dawg
As per the spork's request:
I think Bigg Dawg's right. I don't know if I can top that list, esp. since he stole my answers for #'s 1 & 4. But let's see, since Bigg Dawg's bringin a blade, I'd...
1) Bring a big ol' blue tarp or piece of plastic of something, again, because of its versatility. You could a) sleep on it so you don't have to lay on the wet ground, b) wrap up in it if you're cold, c) hide under it in the rain, d) use its bright blueness to wave down passing ships and planes - are we trying to get off, like stranded-for-real, or are we "stranded" survivor-style? - and most importantly, e) we could use it to gather up water vapor after we boiled it away from the salt to drink. Only that would require that we have a big pot or something to boil the water in in the first place... crap...
2) Ok, so #2! Sentimental item! I'm bringin' a big sentimental pot! there! haha. fixed that. Its that kind of ingenuity that you need in your fellow castaways on the island. Yeah, my grandfather gave me this metal pot and his father gave it to him or something like that... I don't remember. its sentimental nonetheless. I swear.
3) CD for stranded island... well, of course, my initial though is that not-released-in-US "rawkin" something about Thailand spork compilation thing I just read about somewhere, Volumes I or II, I'm not picky. But I doubt compilation CD's are fair game, or else some of my own are definitely in the running as well. I'm gonna go with... probably 40 oz. to Freedom, or some other Sublime CD or something else beside techno, cuz I figure between Jo and Spork and all his other SporkOPs peeps there'll be enough techno and emo to last a lifetime, so who's gonna mix it up a little? Besides, you can't have campfire sing-alongs to Radiohead, or Mouse on Mars, or I dunno Bush: Deconstructed. (yikes: what the hell are you thinking, grant?) but yeah...
4) Something else: ok, um, I guess bring #2 down here, for the "one other item" and for my sentimental item... um, I guess I'd bring... either a guitar so that in my long hours of sitting in the baking sun, maybe I could actually learn how to play and we could have some other type of music than just what we brought with us. Either that, or just like a favorite jacket, so I could have a change of clothes if I needed it, or some extra fabric if I had to make something. I'm too practical. Ah, wait, better. keep #2 where it is. I'm bringing rope. Do you know how hard it is to try and weave little bits of fibrous plant material stuff into actual rope? screw that. I'll just pack it.
- Devin
Except, it's a good thing you didnt' bring J-Spot Volume I because it would rock you off the island to Thailand, remember? And that'd be cheating ...
S
you're right. but I changed my CD pick, anyway. If we're on a beach, then there's no way you're beating Pet Sounds. classic. revolutionary. monumental. so-cal.
- Devin
(... and that's the Beach Boys for those of you for whom Pet Sounds "is before your time.")
- Devin
here we go:
1) survival...how long are we going to be on this bizzity...if it is forever, i'm taking the little blue babies...viagra...gotta be able to function as long as possible...but if it is not such a long time, like five years or so, i don't think i could make it without a knife or small hatchet...something that can be used for small and large jobs. i could learn to make longer range weapons with a little hatchet...could be like robin of the hood and make a bow. then some arrows. it would be solid.
2) sentimental value. does a book count for this one? if so, i'd probably bring along war and peace or the essays of michel de montaigne or some other enormous book that people say is good and that doesn't wear out...because there are some books i've read a few times and even though they're great the first time, they suck the third because there's nothing below the action. anyway, if i couldn't bring that, i'd bring a picture of john's mom...no, probably a picture of my family.
3) one cd. ok, this really isn't hard at all...well, it kind of is hard. revolver is definitely going on the first half of the cd, but do i want sgt. pepper or abbey road on the other half. i've decided...revolver on first half and abbey road on second half adding up to a solid, all beatles cd.
4) something else...also not hard. a concert size steinway and sons grand piano (at least 9 ft). it provides something to do during the day that never tires, such as a book might do, and it is something that is entertaining. a guitar wouldn't work, because a string would break and then that would suck...but these strings would last much, much longer and you can tune them as best you can when they get all outta whack. i could come back being like elton john on the piano. pure solidity.
that's all.
-tyler, aka t-bag