So I realize I owe

So I realize I owe about a months worth of posts. I apologize for the absence, but I have been busy. It's been one hell of a month here at school. And the events that led to and are a part of the cause for my long silence have been wild. Where to begin? Somewhere near the middle? I'm not sure.

I met a girl. (GASP! Shreaks from the ladies).

I know, I know. This is news to many of you, but her name is Kirstie, and she's the greatest thing since cornbread. She's from Kansas, specifically a little city outside of Topeka, and she's here at NU on a dual music and engineering degree. She's majoring both in Agricultural Engineering at McCormick and specializing in bassoon studies in the School of Music. We met two weeks ago at a Crosses and Christ fireside and ice cream social. I couldn't eat the ice cream because of the sweets bet with my sister. I took her out to eat at Bob Evan's, mainly cause it's one of her favorites and I think the closest to home. It was then that I asked her to go steady with me, and she said yes!

So we've been spending a lot of time together. She does a work study job doing secretary work for this religion professor. It's mostly photocopying, retyping, formatting, etc his books on various christian studies. Her hours aren't bad, and she's usually done before dinner. The hours line up pretty well with my work schedule, I'm putting in a few hours here and there at the student center, doing various odds and ends. Mostly maintenance, but it's just enough to pay for the various things Kirstie and i do, and it was enough to pay for all the parties and such before she and I got together (i'll get to that). The other day when the weather got abnormally warm we went the zoo. I'm probably getting a little personal, and hopefully she wont' mind me saying ... but we held hands. It was great. Jesus, I'm blushing now.

I'm probably contradicting everything i've said in the past. I know I said I could never understand how people pour themselves out on livejournals and online diaries, but somehow my mind has changed on this idea. I'm so happy, and I want others to know. Kirstie and I are doing great, and she's changed my life in so many ways.

When i got to campus, I was having a hard time with my new friends. The people on my floor were alright, they were great in fact. But things got a little crazy. Their sinful ways were just oh so fruitful and tempting. Drugs, alcohol, and punk music took over my life. I was a wreck, and worst of all I was forfeiting my college education in exchange for a quote "good" time. Worst of all, the ladies situation was terrible. While I fell in love instantly with four young ladies from the second floor, they soon grew tired of my antics while under the influence.

After I shook the notion that the spiders were plotting to destroy me (the premeds and psych majors told me it was all a product of the LSD, but I'm still not convinced), my depression set in. I hated the world. Lots and lots of emo music. The really whiney kind, y'know, all ovaries and no testicles. Any feeling of connectedness would have been warmly welcomed. Sometimes I felt so disconnected from anything real. I would have cried myself to sleep at night except for two reasons. One, what would have been the point? Fuck the world. Just cause I was depressed didn't mean I owed the world tears. And Two, i was usually passed out drunk before I made it back to my bed anyway. Waking up in strange places, having no idea how I got there. Was I asleep? Had I slept?

I think I hit rock bottom when I was arrested by the Evanston police for public urination. I don't really remember that night much at all, but according to the police I passed out in the car ride to the station. Somewhere in my sleep/coma, I had a dream though. It was kind of an awakening. It was basically like that guardian angel scene in Bedazzled when Brendan Fraser meets Gabriel Casseus who's playing god/angel figure ... only in my dream my cellmate was Ice Cube but he was going by his name Bucum Jackson from All About the Benjamins. The strangest thing, though, was that the whole time he was holding a 700mL bottle of Jack Daniel's in his left hand, and I remember thinking (I didn't know Ice Cube was European (cause they only ship 700mL bottles to Europe, and 750mL bottles to the states)). Basically, we talked for an hour about life, faith, and whether the cubs would make the world series or not. He said they wouldn't, and I said they would but that they'd wouldn't win it. He obviously was right about the cubs, and right about my life. I needed a change. So he told me to consider looking into God. That's when I went to the Crosses and Christ fireside and ice cream social, and that's where I met Kirstie.

So yeah, that's about it. She's changed my life. I've been sober for almost two weeks now. I still have the occasional flashback every time I see a spider, but they tell me that'll go away soon, and if not, the mind learns to pass it off as nothing. Classes are picking back up, I had to drop a few of them to balance the load so I could pick up the slack. I still hope to finish my engineering degree in four years. They tell me my AP credit should cover the failed credits and I've promised them my life of incessant sin has ceased and I will show massive improvement over the next two quarters.

Anyway, Kirstie is coming over soon and we're going to study chemistry together. I'm getting giddy already. I'll be sure to post more often now that things are better in my life and all is going well. I can't wait to see everyone on Thanksgiving and Kirstie asked me not to put pictures up of her here, so you can see them then!

luv ya'll!